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Source : Yahoo AnswersQuestion : How to get my 12 y/old son interested in reading & school rather than playing online & video games?

He loves to play PS2 games, online games such as Runescape & Tankmania. Recently he found Club Penquin which is a site for the younger kids. He struggled in school this past year because he would lie to me about his Homework being done so he could play his games. He is a bright young man. He has difficulty staying on task because of his ADHD, which he take medication for that sometimes causes him to be a bit tense. He tends to be explosive when he doesn’t get his way. He will let others do his work for him if he can.

Answer by willhemina31
You may have to show some tough love and take these things away for a while. Let him have his tantrum and don’t give in.

Answer by starshipminivan
Consider taking him to parks and places he’s going to enjoy that don’t have games. You can take away his games, yes, he’ll be mad –I wouldn’t expect less.

If you feel like you have no control, which is what seems to be the case, try counseling. A really excellent book is called “How to Talk So Kids Will LIsten and LIsten So Kids Will Talk” It’s a great parenting resource.

Answer by AZC
I would say that you have to replace one with the other, maybe give him some game time for doing homework and good grades, but definitely monitor how much time he spends gaming. The ADHD certainly won’t help, but with the right medication it can be controlled. It might be time for a medication adjustment to help control the explosiveness.

Answer by samiad2006
remind him of the jobs he will end up with if he dosent bother with school – mcdonalds, trash collector

Answer by attila
try to get him into puzzle games first, game and works on your head! There are a lot of great puzzle games and mystery games that will have him THINKING. Get him a subscription to a gaming magazine, work WITH his hobbies not against them.
Get him a small book here and there that fits like something he may like, like.. if he likes the resident evil games buy him the book ‘the zombie survival guide’ maybe not the most intellectual thing but it’s reading, its a start. If he likes runescape maybe something by Piers Anthony.

Good luck 🙂

Answer by sillylittlemen
Why is he making decisions? If he can’t tell you the truth, he shouldn’t have video games. I would take all if it away if he can’t even tell you the truth. Who cares if he explodes? Didn’t you get mad at your parents when they told you to do something you didn’t want to do? Be his parent, not his friend. Sit down with him and work through every homework assignment. Don’t let him play or even have video games.

Personally, I believe most cases of ADHD is a way for parents not to do their job. Yes, some children are more difficult than others because we are all different. So what? Don’t let his ‘possible’ disorder stop him from succeeding.

Answer by gin
Take his video games away from him. They are ruining our young people. My parents are having the same problem with my 16 year old brother. He never did his homework and played video games all day. He has since dropped out of high school and is in a lot of trouble with the cops. Regulate his play time and check his homework. If he says he is done ask to see it. If he doesn’t show it to you do not let him play. There is software out there to where you can program it to shut thing down after a given time. I would recommend that.

Answer by Bobbi Jo M
Put limits on his activities. Give him time to do what he likes but have a more structured schedule for him to follow with homework and study.
Or get him a tutor since he has been struggling in school.

Answer by sam b
no kid will eat thier sprouts whilst there’s chips on thier plate, you need to take away the temptation of playing computer games away and be a little firmer, but also, you need to show him the rewards that hard work and dedication can bring and open his eyes to what he’s doing to his future, make sure you’re praising him the right way when he puts in effort and deny him privelidges when he lets himself down, remember too, that playing games all the time has health risks as well.

Answer by melissa
No one should ever “do” his work for him, that will ruin his educational career forever. Too many kids I know have their parents do everything for him and as soon as they get to a grade level(usually junior high), they flip out and cheat. You need to see his homework and monitor everything. You need to be the one in control that even keeps his games and systems in your possession until the homework and reading is done. If he likes video games, try interesting him in science-fiction, my ten year old brother loves video games and I warn my mom all the time, he is going to suffer later on if he doesn’t develop a good study ethic. Let’s face it no one likes homework or reading (I’m a sophomore psych major in college and I hate required reading), but I have a ton and it has to be done!

His ADHD should not be used as an excuse to get out of reading. And you cannot feel guilty for his disorder causing his struggles. You can help him and encourage him. Reward him every so often with a new game or let him trade in ones he has for newer ones. And it is really important that you and him discuss his ADHD together and work towards positive solutions.

My little brother sounds exactly like your son. He has Tourette’s and OCD adn often my mom will let him have horrible tantrums bc of it. He also changes when he doesn’t get his way. But, you have to keep the position of authority. I’m not saying never give in, but don’t put up with the attitude or it can escalate to further behavioral problems in school and social settings. Be positive and good luck!!

Answer by Jen
Well, considering your son is twelve, it’s kind of late to put an end to this immediately. But, I would say have certain hours he can go on Runescape. Or, take away his paid membership on Runescape. I was addicted to Runescape awhile back. I would spend 12 hours a day on it when not in school, around 6 when I was. To get myself to stop going on so much, I cancled my paid membership. This caused me to get bored with the game. So maybe tell your son that he’ll have to pay for his membership if he wants to keep it.

If that doesnt’ work, take the computer (and other games) out of his room. Put it in the living room, where other people will want to use the computer/tv.

Answer by StraightDrive
Remove unnnecessary things from your home like TV, video games etc. Speak to him in private and tell him what is important in life. You should also set an example by avoiding things which you want him to avoid. Remove the internet connection.

Answer by sanjac1836
turn the thing off and tell him NO

Answer by sleeping beauty
force. Take away the tv and computer. Well, limit it. Introduce him to games he can play outside or with friends from school. Try to enter him in football at school.

Answer by anticipating
12 year old’s and all children need to be influenced by parents just as well as any age child. Have him earn the time to play his video games, as stated by others, expect him to at first rebel but stay strong and don’t give in but you need to have a game plan. How can you enforce rules if you don’t have guidelines set up first to explain to your son. Take your time to direct him to doing other things so that he, at 12 can see his community. Have him help with you in a soup kitchen, or get him involved with a sport or activity, (such as karate), that may ask children and parents to volunteer for help with special organizations. Showing him how to give his time so that it isn’t wasted on sitting in front of a video game or TV will help redirect him plus giving him. Just as a young baby needs to be fed more than one time a day, your son needs you to feed him realities in life, with correction and direction for him to grow and succeed. It wont be easy at first but with your committment you will encounter change.

Answer by Jack G
You are the mother. You have control. Why do you ask this question?
Most parents claim success by having their child reap rewards
for completing a task.
Sit down and read a lot for yourself. Get him to read a book/article
then receive XX time online with his computer.

Answer by waplambadoobatawhopbamboo
He has learned his habits from you and you can’t do anything about it now: he has been trained. You’ll have to go with the flow or you’ll make a bigger mess out of him and yourself. You might help him meet other kids his age with the same interests so he can interact with real people and not the PC. He will learn more responsibility from the other kids – so long as he continues to interact with them.

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